[elay]

A newlywed couple had only been married for two
weeks. The husband,
although very much in love, couldn't wait to go out
on the town and
party with his old buddies. So, he said to his new
wife, "Honey, I'll
be right back."

"Where are you going, coochy cooh?" asked the wife.

"I'm going to the bar, pretty face. I'm going to
have a beer."

The wife said, "You want a beer, my love?" She
opened the door to the
refrigerator and showed him 25 different kinds of
beer, brands from 12
different countries: Germany, Holland, Japan,
India, etc.

The husband didn't know what to do, and the only
thing that he could
think of saying was, "Yes, lolly pop...but at the
bar...you know...they
have frozen glasses..."

He didn't get to finish the sentence, because the
wife interrupted him
by saying, "You want a frozen glass, puppy face?"
She took a huge beer
mug out of the freezer, so frozen that she was
getting chills just
holding it.

The husband, looking a bit pale, said, "Yes, tootsie
roll, but at the
bar they have those hors d'oeuvres that are really
delicious... I won't
be long, I'll be right back. I promise. OK?"

"You want hors d'oeuvres, poochi pooh?" She opened
the oven and took
out 5 dishes of different hors d'oeuvres: chicken
wings, pigs in
blankets, mushroom caps, pork strips, etc.

"But my sweet honey... at the bar... you know...
there's swearing, dirty
words and all that..."

"You want dirty words, Dickhead? Drink your ****ing
beer in your damn
frozen mug and eat your mother ****ing snacks, you
are married now, and
you aren't going anywhere! Got it, Asshole?"

And, they lived happily ever after.